


Defying Gravity

by HKGlenstid



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Claude defies gravity, Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:20:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27873722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HKGlenstid/pseuds/HKGlenstid
Summary: No one ever found out about the curious nature that was Claude Von Riegan. The boy was born defying gravity itself; his very first moments outside of the womb was to fly right towards the ceiling. And to this very day, no one he knew had a way to cure him of this predicament.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Defying Gravity

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own three houses, nor do I know wtf I just wrote. As always.

**Defying Gravity**

No one ever found out about the curious nature that was Claude Von Riegan. The boy was born defying gravity itself; his very first moments outside of the womb was to fly right towards the ceiling. And to this very day, no one he knew had a way to cure him of this predicament.

So there he was, bandits after his life alongside his fellow rival house leaders. The silent but beautiful dark haired mercenary that had saved his life—he would argue that she mainly saved him, because he was obviously the better choice—stared at him with a curious gaze after the battle had been done.

"Is there a reason why your friend here is tied with rope and floating upside down in the air?" Byleth had asked.

Dimitri blushed in embarrassment, the rope tied around his wrist as to make sure Claude doesn't fly off into the sky never to be seen again. Jeralt, the famed Bladebreaker himself looked shocked to see his daughter say so much in one sentence. His lunchtime meal had proceeded to drop from his hand and onto the ground dirt. Strangely enough, he did seem to take the floating upside down boy much better than his daughter speaking. That was a confusing thought if I ever heard one.

"Yeah, it's not as bad as it looks," Claude said, chicken drumstick in hand. "Can you pull me down closer Dimitri?"

The prince nodded, putting down his cutlery, before carefully tugging Claude towards the ground. The boy stopped just above the table, as he gave a humoured grin. "Trust me, it's something you get used to."

"Still, even Archbishop Rhea herself had no idea of how to cure Claude of this… situation," Edelgard piped in. Her meal was already finished as she ate very lightly outside of anything that wasn't sweet. She dabbed at her mouth with a handkerchief, before immediately looking towards the desert cake that the village chief had so nicely procured for the saviours of the village.

"That bad huh?" Jeralt finally found his voice. He cleared his throat and shook his head. He was too lazy to go and get another helping of food. "So you were just… born like that?"

"Yup. It's not that bad to be honest. It comes in handy in forest skirmishers."

"I'll bet."

Byleth swallowed. "And your archery? How do you grow accustomed to shooting upside down?"

Claude blinked and shrugged. "Was born this way remember."

The female mercenary nodded, lost in thought. She then turned towards her father who immediately shook his head.

"There is almost no situation you are going to have to shoot upside down, so don't think about it. You're just going to get a headache."

* * *

The ride back was… different. Claude grew up riding on the underside of a horse. It wasn't too bad, he just had to make sure none of the dirt from the ground got into his hair, but other than that it was fine.

The dining halls of Garreg Mach Monastery was another matter entirely. Originally Rhea herself had no idea how to solve this issue with compulsory eating with house members. That was until the Golden Deers themselves managed to find a solution. A chair and table were bolted in on the ceiling just above the Golden Deers. Sure, it hurt after an hour or so of looking up to speak to Claude, but it was something the Golden Deers themselves grew accustomed too.

"So teach," Claude called out. "I knew you were going to choose our class."

"That predictable am I?" Byleth asked.

"Nah. Everyone just loves me," Claude said bashfully. "I'm funner then most."

Lorenz snorted. Claude made sure to accidentally drop some food from above.

The other students snickered and shook their heads at the antics, while Byleth found amusement at the mayonnaise now trickling down the top of the purple haired boy's hair.

Lorenz seemed oblivious to it though. "What is it? Is there something on my face?"

"Sorta," Hilda giggled. "Right about there."

She pointed on her own head. Lorenz blinked, grabbed a handkerchief and tried to wipe the area.

"Missed," Hilda said, watching the poor boy more pushed it further into his hair like shampoo.

"Better?" Lorenz asked.

"Nope."

"What about now?"

"Almost… what do you guys think? You're leaving me to deal with this myself."

Hilda whined and pouted.

"I don't even see what the big deal is," Lorenz said, before attending his meal again. "I'll simply deal with it later."

Claude then proceeded to drop some of his vegetables down on the poor boy.

* * *

As the battle commenced, the rest of the other two house leaders found themselves in a pickle. You see, with such a small number in every house, frankly it depended on the skill on who's left rather than numbers. Which is why both Dimitri and Edelgard decided to team up against Claude who was currently hanging far above a tree, some rope tied tightly around said tree trunk. No one could reach him with their weapons, arrows included, but since he had the high ground he could shoot freely with his own arrows.

Claude himself seemed to have planned his, as he was currently strapped with countless quivers of arrows all over his body. He rained punishment on his foes, but his enemies could only cower under their cover until either Claude uses all his arrows, or his enemies fell. At this rate, it looked like the latter.

The rest of the Golden Deers remained in the forest, making sure no one could get to their leader's security rope.

Now, all seemed lost. It was basically victory for the Golden Deer. That was, until Bernadetta sneezed as she shot an arrow. It flew towards Hilda who ducked at the last second, hitting Leonie's shield, before bouncing up and into the trees.

SNAP!

Everyone froze. Claude paled, as he felt himself falling towards the endless blue sky.

"INGRID FLY AFTER HIM NOW!"

"HUBERT QUICKLY TELEPORT AND GET HIM DOWN!"

"SOMEONE GET SETEH!"

* * *

"Alright, let's get a nice big smile!"

Edelgard frowned as she got into position, arms crossed with her axe in hand. She shook her head. "I can't believe we are doing this."

Dimitri shrugged. "I think it's good. As future leaders of our nations, it's only in our best interest to procure that peaceful relation between all three of us."

Claude smugly smiled, hanging just a head above the other two. "It's just a picture princess. No harm. No fuss."

"It's still embarrassingly normal," Edelgard confessed, her cheeks just a hint of red.

"Alright then, can we get Lady Edelgard to move a bit more left," Hubert ordered.

"What? Then she would be in the centre! Put his highness in the centre!"

"Can you guys cut it out!" Dorothea yelled. Hands on her hips, she ordered the future leaders into position. Edelgard to the right. Dimitri on the left. Claude hanging in the centre of both.

"Alright! Stay still!" Ignatz stated as he began the portrait, confident he had the perfect frame right now.

While the other students bickered back and forth about who hogged which spotlight, Claude couldn't help but let a small smile rise on his face.

"You know, this is kinda weird isn't it."

"How so?" Dimitri asked, keeping his eyes to the left. "I thought this would be something right up your alley Claude."

The future Alliance leader shook his head. "No I mean. Who knows what would happen in five years time. But just imagine… Us three, against the world. We'll be unstoppable."

"Hah," Edelgard smirked. "The Aldrestian Empire doesn't need your alliance Claude. I'm plenty enough thank you very much. Though, I'll keep the offer in mind in future."

"Sure," Claude chuckled. "We can have tea parties, play musical chairs, and have all sorts of fun."

"To the future of Fodlan then?" Dimitri asked curiously.

"To the future of Fodlan," both Edelgard and Claude said proudly.

And at the moment, all was well. Everyone was at peace.

Then Claude fell from the ceiling and onto the other two house leaders.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Sorry I haven't uploaded any of my stories in a while. I'll get to it now that my studies are finished for the year. Currently top of the list is continuing my RWBY rewrite cause I have a lot planned to get the first Volume done. Then Sweet Child O'Mine, then hopefully, back to rewriting everything else I promised to finished *coughcough* AnAngeltoGuideMe *coughcough*.
> 
> Anyway, hope you all enjoyed :3


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